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[morningstud]

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"You've reached Lucifer Morningstar. I am unable to take your call at the moment, please leave a message."

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[morningstud]

Oh have you been affected by the magic rain now too?

[He says to the person who clearly does not remember it.]

That IS my name.

[hardsells]

magic rain? don't know anything about that save these jars and all sitting around. nevermind all the rest.

[ Magical stuff from the looks of it. He's got some squirreled away at home but he can't keep much at his shitty excuse for a house. He says that like he knows him. The bloke's name is saved in the contacts which is how he found him, so he must. Or did. He doesn't remember is all. ]

that's BRILLIANT.

[morningstud]

Oh, well, you should probably not go around touching those, since neither of us know what's in them. As amusing as it would be to booby trap yourself, I can't advise it.

[There, he's done his duty of telling amnesiac John not to kill himself, now he can go back to being an ass in peace.]

I am quite a fan of my name, so I must say I agree.

[hardsells]

i thought i'd open them all up and have a taste test.

[ That was sarcasm. Maybe. ]

i'll bet you are. so give over and tell us already: did somebody summon you and you get stuck? or did you just come up here all on your own?

[morningstud]

Suit yourself! I am keeping a record of this conversation for when you go back to normal.

[Part of him kinda hopes it wasn't sarcasm tbh.]

Oh, that's not how it works around here. People fall asleep and arrive in this world. In my case, I'm fairly certain I was knocked out, I'm just not certain how.

I'm not very worried about it, to be honest.

[hardsells]

that supposed to bother me then? you seem pretty certain i'll go back. what if don't? keeping records for nothing.

[ He might change his mind later. All depends on how bored he is, honestly. ]

somebody got the drop on you? if that's the case then i'd say we're all buggered, aren't we?

oh, aye? what's to worry over? better than i've got at home at any rate.

[morningstud]

I don't know for certain, of course. If this continues on until the end of May, perhaps you are stuck this way!

[He is way too chipper about this, isn't he?]

From what I've been told, by people who have been here longer than me, time doesn't actually run the same way as here and back in our own worlds. I'm not concerned.

[hardsells]

well i'll have plenty of time to make sure i don't grow into dressing like a wanker then.

[ Figures if anyone would be as amused by all this it'd be the Devil. ]

sounds like a bad trip if you ask me.

[morningstud]

Excellent. I can help you with your fashion taste.

[I hope you like obnoxiously loud suits.]

Even bad trips don't last a year, though. It's quite obnoxious.

[hardsells]

don't get too ahead of yourself, mate. i don't even know what your idea of fashion is.

[ He will throw a fit. ]

you been stuck here a whole year? bollocks.

[morningstud]

I'm the Devil. My taste in fashion is impeccable.

[Not arrogant at all.]

I most certainly have! It's been quite the experience.

[hardsells]

i'll believe that when i see it, mate.

[ At least they're well-matched in that respect. ]

you can't just leave us hanging with that. go on, what's happened? really terrible stuff?