morningstud | IC Inbox

[Lucifer sighs, rolling his eyes as he leans heavily against one hand and elbow.]

What a coincidence. I've heard nothing but bad news about other versions of myself, too.

It's not much different from home, though; humans just love to blame me for every little thing that happens in their lives. You'd think they'd have figured out personal liability by now; it's the 21st century.

[His eyebrows slowly raise.]

I take it you've had some judgement here, slinging around your name.

[Well, at least they have that much in common! That actually gets Lucifer to relax.]

Yes, they certainly do. Love to blame demons, too, even if they aren't able to leave Hell, because I banned that little practice after they started the vampire hysteria in Europe!

[What did they expect to happen when the human's loved ones rose from the grave and started behaving erratically? Sheesh! And then they started whining when the were trapped in the grave with stakes through the corpse's chest!]

Here, on Earth, everywhere. Plenty of people don't believe me, too. Not that they do back home, either.

Edited 2021-01-30 06:35 (UTC)

[Oh? A Lucifer who bans demons from walking the earth, huh? He wonders how the man manages to maim and murder humanity without a little muscle to handle it when you're bored. Best not to... ask that directly, though.]

People don't believe you're Lucifer? Ah, yes. Atheism. I at least admire their tenacity not to follow a God who all but ditched them. [Not that that saves them from him, but. You know.] So you interact with them, though. Humanity.

Well, that is a part of it, I suppose. Though I did run into an atheist who had a very nasty realizat— I suppose that's not entirely pertinent to this situation, is it?

No, normally people tend to think I'm some eccentric who fashions himself after Satan, for whatever reason.

[He's so salty about this.]

[Lucifer's nose wrinkles immediately. If he'd been in this angel's shoes, he'd had wiped quite a few cities out by that point. Eccentric is one thing, but to call him a liar? To his satanic face? Uncalled for. Deserving of smiting.]

How do you do it? How do you endure such miserable, stupid creatures?

[Lucifer's brows shoot up his forehead.]

I wouldn't go that far. Human beings might be quite predictable, but I've always enjoyed their company.

[Lucifer's eyebrows shoot up, too, for entirely different reasons.]

You enjoy their company?

[He sounds skeptical, of course, hands held palm up where he's leaning on the bar.]

They blame us for everything; they despise the devil. Despise you.

Not all of them do. In fact, I've come to realize most of them don't. It's the ones who do who have the proverbial skeleton in their closet.

Even the weirdos who insist on worshiping me are actually quite harmless, if a little afraid of true independent thinking.

[Huh.]

Huh.

Do they know the real you, though? All that... Hell.

[He tests the waters carefully, of course. Just... curious.

Does this Lucifer torture souls? Twist them into demons? It's a perfectly acceptable pastime, after all.]

[He pauses.]

Only my therapist does.

[Which is. Probably a huge fucking statement all on its own.]

I've tried repeatedly to tell the Detective that Lucifer Morningstar is not an assumed name, but she doesn't believe me. I had been meaning to show her before I arrived here, actually.

[He winces, because that is maybe the worst thing he's ever heard, other Lucifer. Has this version fallen so far? The first fall was hard enough, wasn't it? Why even do such a thing to yourself? Outlandish.]

That sounds horribly human of you, I've gotta be honest.

Seeing a therapist? Working with their law enforcement?

It sounds like you've gotten a bit corrupted, spending too much time around them.

Corrupted?

Nonsense. Even Amenadiel has come around to the idea, helped me save the Detective's life. And he's been a stick in the mud for thousands of years!

This detective that doesn't know you're the ruler of hell, torturer of souls?

I can't help but wonder how they'd look at you, if they knew.

[Lucifer cocks his head to the side, though, somber.]

You speak with your siblings, do you? They don't try to massacre you every chance they get? Or did they join you in 'therapy' and learn it's particularly rude to try and murder one of your oldest, most loyal brothers?

She believes it's an assumed named.

[He doesn't get the chance to say much else, though, because other Lucifer goes and says.... that.]

Youngest brother, actually. And I can't say any of my siblings have ever tried to kill me. My problem is more they've never bothered to visit.

[... Huh.

He sits back, feeling particularly uneased by this other devil's universe. Not because it sounds terrible — but because it was an old fantasy of his, a long, long time ago (and once upon a moon, was a rekindled fantasy quickly stamped out).]

Youngest brother. What a tragedy.

How did you come to be in hell? I'm dying to know, now.

It's a bit of a long story, that. The short of it is it was Mum's idea to send me off to rule over Hell, when what Father wanted to do was kill me outright.

[Please tell him Goddess exists in your world, he's going to riot if She isn't a multiversal constant.]

[........... Oh. Alright then. Now this is strange.

Lucifer's hand falls from his mouth, sits on the bar counter as a new strange interest piques.]

You have a mother, do you?

[wh...]

The Universe wasn't bloody created just by my Father!

[Huh.]

Who else, might I ask, created the universe?

I mean, I know the old man had a sister. But she was hardly a creator-type.

In fact, he locked her up and threw away the key, when she was a handful.

...

Dad's got a pattern of dealing with his family.

[.....]

Just Father and Mum.

[......]

He did lock Mum away in Hell, that is true. She never responded the demons' attempts at torturing Her.

Mum is safe now, I cut a vagina-shaped hole into a brand new universe for Her to create Her own world.

[I am not making this up he calls it the "space vagina" multiple times.]

Edited 2021-03-13 22:56 (UTC)

... From one Lucifer to another, I have to say, your family is a real piece of work.

Well, there's no mother involved in my life, sad to say. A single parent situation.

[He works his jaw, tapping his fingers on the bar.]

I guess I got your dear old mom's treatment, though. Cast down into Hell.

The demons weren't much for tormenting their own creator, though.

You're telling me.

[Now you understand why he's in therapy, yes?]

The demons I know weren't created by Father and Mum; they're the children of Lilith. Now she's a fascinating person, but just like the person who created her, she abandoned her own children.

[ah...]

I made a promise never to tell the Lilin. Perhaps that was unfair to Maze.

Hmm. Children of Lilith, you say. Fascinating.

[He taps his chin, pensive.]

It's true she's made demons over the years — but I'm the one who made her first.

One of my personal touches to dad's favorite works.

Oh, Father was the one to make her. I had nothing to do with it. She was Adam's first wife; one who understandably wasn't willing to stand back and let him take all of the credit.

She decided she wanted to live as a mortal human in the Twenties, and I don't actually know what became of her to be honest.

[It might be a dream, but it seems like he still has to be fashionable, with the way he toys with a ring on his finger as he speaks.]

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