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[morningstud]

[Action/Text/Voice/Video]

"You've reached Lucifer Morningstar. I am unable to take your call at the moment, please leave a message."

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text. un: hardsell ( sometime after the hospital. )

[oldhound]

standing outside my bloody house like that you'd have a better chance quoting shakespeare than shouting like some lovesick little girl.

you need a pillow to cry into? cause i'm not letting you in.

[morningstud]

It's not my bloody fault your wards decided to work on me, now is it?

It's rather rude to lock a man out like that. You might give him the impression he's unwanted.

[oldhound]

i'm not going to be upset about the fact that they managed to do what they're supposed to and keep out the first of the fallen, now am i?

allow me to clarify whatever lingering impressions i may have left:

[ The door opens just enough that he can lob an actual pillow at Lucifer's head. Then it slams shut. ]

[morningstud]

[Wow, that's rude.]

Taking a page from teenage girls now? The detective's daughter has more manners than you!

[oldhound]

[ He never said he wasn't a devious bastard. Or just a bastard in general. ]

could've been a fireball. [ But he's not about to admit to Lucifer just how weak his connection to magic is in this place. ] what detective's daughter?

[morningstud]

Detective Chloe Decker.

I could've sworn I mentioned her— ah, maybe I didn't.

By the way, I'm keeping this pillow.

[oldhound]

you mentioned the detective which i'm still trying to wrap my head around.

didn't mention the kid. you're hanging around kids now? you really have gone native back in that old city, haven't you?

keep it, it's blessed. hope it burns you.

[ It's not. He just wants to be difficult. He could do that though. It's an idea. ]

[morningstud]

It can't hurt me, I'm an angel.

And no, I'm not hanging around kids. I don't like the cretin, but she means a lot to Chloe.

[oldhound]

fallen angel. wards seem to do a bang-up job keeping you out there.

ah, so it's chloe. you're keen on her aren't you?

[morningstud]

I'm just the regular kind of angel, thank you very much.

Of course I am. I enjoy her company, and working with her. We make quite the team with her smarts and my charms.

[oldhound]

sure you are, chief.

working with her. like a real job? if charm is all you're bringing to the table i'm sure she's doing most of the work.

[morningstud]

Indeed, and one I take quite seriously.
I'm a civilian consultant for the Los Angeles Police Department.

Oh, no. My powers come in handy for talking to people, she greatly appreciates it.

1/2 text

[oldhound]

consultant.

for the police.

2/2 action

[oldhound]

[ It takes an awful lot to pique his interest these days. Even more still to leave him gobsmacked. This definitely fits that bill.

Which is why when the door opens this time, John actually comes out on the porch. He's clearly dubious. ]

You're having a bloody laugh.

[morningstud]

[And just like that, Lucifer looks downright offended.]

I certainly am not. I don't lie; you know that.

[oldhound]

[ His chin tilts a little in defiance of that look. He's stared down worse. Even if Old Scratch does raise the hair on the back of his neck more than he'd care to admit. ]

You're right, I do. Which still leaves me gobsmacked as to why exactly you'd be meddling in human affairs willingly.

[morningstud]

It started out as revenge. A girl who used to work for me had aspirations for fame, to be a singer, was murdered. I'd met a record producer in my time in Los Angeles, and sent her on her way. She came back to me one night asking for assurances she wasn't a slave to the Devil or other nonsense.

She'd fallen prey to the dangers of fame; I told her all I wanted from her was to get her life back together. And then a hitman comes out of nowhere, shoots us both.

The police were brought in, of course. And I was a witness. So I tagged along with the officer assigned to the case, Chloe Decker.

[Lucifer sighs dramatically.]

It was the record producer, by the way. As far as I know the bastard's still in the loony bin after seeing my devil face.

[oldhound]

Most regular folk get cagey when they get favors from the Devil. Or anyone in your employ. Usually leaves a sour taste in the mouth.

[ He's not bastard enough to keep pushing as he is when he says how she died. Revenge, he gets. Usually that sort of thing is directed at him, though. Comes with the territory. People around him die.

His mouth turns down and his tongue clicks with that bit of knowledge. ]

Got off easy if that's all you did to him.

[morningstud]

[John gets a look at the first statement, but Lucifer seems willing to ignore it with a shrug.]

I had to work within the rules of the police. Couldn't very well break every bone in his body, could I? He won't harm anyone anymore, no more taking advantage of young girls who don't know what he's truly like.

[oldhound]

[ Hey, at least he's being honest. It's not like he's going to try and run a con on the King of Hell. Least not at the moment. ]

Had to? Since when do you have to do anything you don't want? Nothing stopping you from punishing the bastard properly.

[ Didn't stop him when he needed Maze out of hell and nobody else Lucifer knew had the juice to get her past the gates. Popping down is one thing. Bringing someone out with you is another thing altogether. ]

Suppose him pissing himself and crying his eyes out for the rest of his miserable life is something if it means others won't end up like that girl.

[morningstud]

Because I run a nightclub in Los Angeles. Where would I go? They couldn't keep me locked up, but I've no desire to ruin the life I've built for myself.

[He gives a frustrated look.]

So I played by the rules. I don't mind it, to be honest. Gives them a chance to be punished in life, and not just in death.

[oldhound]

Never figured that'd be enough to have you showing restraint. Money, connections. Out there you could get away with whatever you wanted.

[ Is he frustrated at John or at the fact that he's calling him out?

He reaches into his pockets to find his ciggies and lighter, pulling them out as he wanders down the stairs. The wards won't work here. He pulls one out for himself and offers the pack out for Lucifer. ]

Got a taste for it then. Tell you what, I could've used that dealing with this bastard Satanist way back. I know, I know, nothing to do with you but the outliers in that group have got some pretty twisted notions.

[morningstud]

[Lucifer doesn't say anything to that, mostly because he isn't sure how to feel about it all. He had been the sort of person happily doing whatever he wanted, but the thing about hedonism is that it gets old and boring, and isn't actually that satisfying.]

Oh, I've dealt with some twisted devil-worshipers already. Bastard was going around slaughtering teenagers because he thought it would impress me.

[fuck people who hurt others, tbh]

[oldhound]

[ John knows. He was there for some of the happily doing whatever or whoever. Technicality, that. Time was he considered doing away with this line of work. The thought of Des reminds him that his heart is still very, very broken. What's left of the withered thing, at any rate. ]

Our two would've made a right pair then. [ He says it and it leaves a sour taste. ] One I met killed three girls before I got pulled in. Barely got to the last one in time, but it's sorted now.

[ Wholeheartedly agree. ]

Tried him on the way.

[morningstud]

Disgusting. In my case, it was because Amena—

[He cuts himself off abruptly.]

My brother and I weren't exactly getting along, he thought it was a good idea to pull a soul from Hell to get me to go back. Corrupt cop was left braindead in a shootout. Needless to say, he regretted that.

[Lucifer kind of hates devil-worshipers.]

He'll have a lovely time in Hell, I'm sure.